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Writer's pictureRachel Ulatowski

Ballerina Farm Controversy Raises the Question of How Much Choice ‘Trad Wives’ Really Have


Daniel Neeleman and Hannah Neeleman in a video on Ballerina Farm's YouTube Channel
(Ballerina Farm/YouTube)

From egg aprons to crushed dreams of New York and Julliard, hearts across the nation are breaking as the true nature of Ballerina Farm comes forward.


To be fair, Ballerina Farm has always stirred a bit of controversy. The family comprises Daniel and Hannah Neeleman, who share eight children aged 12 and under. They have unwittingly attracted controversy by seemingly glorifying the "traditional wife" lifestyle. Hannah is the true star of their channel, appearing to many like a real-life Wonder Woman as she cares for eight children, milks cows, and makes enormous portions of pasta, ice cream, and sourdough bread from scratch, usually while balancing one or more children on her hip. Her videos have attracted a staggering TikTok following of 8 million.


Naturally, her videos attract scrutiny as many question whether promoting the idea of a submissive housewife and mother who spends the majority of her day caring for kids, doing chores, and cooking is conducive to feminism. Still, if this is the lifestyle she chose for herself, there's little one can say against it. However, The Times recently released an article that left viewers questioning whether Hannah actually chose this life. The fact that the article was released days after a heartbreaking video of Hannah's birthday gift from her husband only stirred further scrutiny.


The Times Publishes Heartbreaking Article on Ballerina Farm

Hannah Neeleman smiling at the camera in a video on Ballerina Farm's YouTube Channel
(Ballerina Farm/YouTube)

Recently, The Times published an article on the Neeleman family. Megan Agnew traveled to Utah to speak to the family, believing she would get a one-on-one sit-down interview with Hannah to gain insight into feminism, the trad wife trend, and her lifestyle. However, Daniel saw that this one-on-one interview didn't happen, as he hovered nearby the entire time and sent Hannah off to make lunch for the kids while he took over the "interview."


Still, Agnew managed to reveal a few startling details about the family. While it's well-known that Hannah was once a ballerina (hence the name Ballerina Farm), The Times illuminated the lesser-known story of how she ended up as a farming wife instead of a professional dancer. Hannah wasn't just a good dancer and beauty pageant contestant—she was an incredibly talented ballerina who earned acceptance into one of the most prestigious colleges in the world, Julliard. Hannah had fully intended to complete her schooling at Julliard, revealing how she loved New York and envisioned herself living there.


She was so committed to completing school that she rebuffed Daniel's advances for six months. However, Daniel had quite a bit of power, considering he's the son of the billionaire founder of Jet Blue and other commercial airlines. Hence, when he found out she would be on a flight from Utah to New York, he used his father's power to get on the same flight and sit next to her, essentially forcing her to have her first date next to him on the plane. Hannah didn't seem to realize that he'd pulled strings at the time, explaining that she thought it was the most confounding coincidence.


The pair ended up dating after the strange first date, yet Hannah still had no intentions of marrying. She was going to finish school. However, Daniel didn't want that. He gave her an ultimatum that she would either marry him or their relationship "wouldn't work." Just three months after meeting him, they were married in a rush. A few months later, she was pregnant. She left Julliard and eventually professional dancing altogether, as Daniel moved them onto his dream pig farm in Utah, where she lived out the role he had always envisioned for her where she was at home with the kids.


It also wasn't enough that she had his eight children. Daniel demanded that she give birth to every child at home without medication. However, she whispered a secret to the interviewer when he stepped out for a moment. For the birth of her eighth child, she had an epidural because Daniel wasn't present for that birth, so she had the option. She admitted it was "great," though she had to keep it secret from her husband.


Aside from having help from a few cleaners, Daniel also demands that she complete all the cooking and childcare duties independently while he's often out tending to the farm. He even admitted to the interviewer that this set-up had resulted in Hannah becoming severely ill and bedridden from exhaustion.


While the interviewer got a few tidbits out of Hannah, such as her epidural revelation and confirmation that this wasn't how she planned her life, Daniel saw to it that she never had her one-on-one session. So, many of Hannah's true thoughts and feelings remain unknown, although what has been revealed looks a lot like entrapment, manipulation, and control.


Ballerina Farm's Egg Apon Debacle

Adding to the outrage from the article was the fact that it was Hannah's birthday just a few days earlier, and Daniel gave her a thoughtless gift. The video has since been deleted, but TikTok user @hannal.ballerinafarm reposted it. In the video, Hannah reveals that she asked Daniel for a trip to Greece. Given that he's the son of a billionaire and Hannah has contributed immensely to their income with her millions of social media followers, asking for a trip is a reasonable birthday request.


When handed the gift, which Daniel didn't bother to wrap and presented to her in a beat-up cardboard box, Hannah excitedly says she's "hoping they're tickets to Greece." She even says a second time, "So, plane tickets?" When she opens the box and sees fabric she says, "Oh, a hat I can wear in Greece!" However, it's not a hat, and there will be no vacation in Greece. Daniel gifted her an apron with egg holders for her birthday. Viewers can see the excitement drain from Hannah's face, although she continues trying to show gratitude, instantly trying on the apron while smiling. That's not good enough for Daniel, though, who expectantly says, "You're welcome," forcing her to verbally thank him for the gift she didn't ask for.





The egg apron debacle combined with The Times article was too much for most viewers. Hannah gave up everything for Daniel. She admitted sadly in the article, "I was a good ballerina." She could've pursued her dream of ballet, finished school at Julliard, and experienced New York. Instead, she gave up everything just so her privileged, rich husband could continue getting everything he could possibly want. Then, she went through numerous unmedicated, unimaginably painful labors to please him. Now, she cooks, works, and raises her children to the point of practically collapsing from exhaustion. Yet, Daniel, the son of a billionaire who has been made richer by Hannah's platform, cannot so much as give her a trip to Greece.


He ignored what she wanted and gave her an apron to emphasize that she belonged in his home, doing chores and caring for his kids. He'll never let her go to New York or Greece or experience any of the freedom and adventure she once dreamed of as a Julliard student. In the interview, Hannah insisted that this lifestyle was what God wanted for her. It also appears her husband has brainwashed her into thinking her sacrifice is somehow his sacrifice. She mentioned they both sacrificed career aspirations for their marriage, although whatever supposed "career aspirations" he gave up could not compare to giving up Julliard. He also did not compromise on any single point about their lives together. It was all his way or the highway. It's sad he has somehow convinced her he sacrificed and gave up things, too, even though he orchestrated every detail of their lives.


To top it all off, Hannah mentioned she wanted to turn some barn space into a ballet studio. However, Daniel denied this desire, too, turning the space into a schoolroom to homeschool their children. It's not even that he's oblivious or ignorant, but that he almost seems to go out of his way to completely erase every remnant of her identity aside from a wife and mother. It's not hard to assume that he was incredibly jealous and insecure that a woman rejected him and was pursuing her dreams of Julliard. So, from the onset, he planned to prove that he could get this talented, bright woman to marry him and never do ballet again.


It's easy to assume that religious women who live the "traditional lifestyle" specifically chose this life for themselves for religious reasons. However, the Ballerina Farm controversy raises the question of how many women actually choose this life for themselves and how many of them have it chosen for them.

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